I don't know what exactly is wrong with me.. It's something, but I just can't put my finger on it. No matter where I am, I never really feel accepted. Even when I'm like hanging out with just like 2 or 3 friends, I always seem to be the odd one out. But the thing is, I don't think it's anyone else's problem. I think it's my own fault. Somehow, I think I am not letting myself be accepted.. or something like that. I'm not entirely sure. I just know that I'm always on the outside it seems. Even when I'm at my favorite place in the whole world, CYT, I still feel left out. I know every person there and I have several people I'm very very close to, yet I feel out of place. I can't figure out where I'm supposed to be I guess. It's not at school, that's for sure. That's not my kinda crowd.. lol. I mean, I love my school and a lot of the kids there are nice but none of them have the same morals as me so I don't really want to get close to them. And it's not really that I don't have close friends or anything, I just still feel disconnected when I do group things.
Tonight a friend wanted me to come to small groups at another friend's house that their church does every Thursday night. I love both of the friends and I really like their pastor and all.. But I just couldn't go. I would never feel accepted there. No matter how much they tell me they want me or that I'm welcomed.. I just can't
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